The Joy of Creating Personal Boundaries
After many weeks of unusual heat waves, a cool wind blew into our little mountain town. The shift was dramatic and carried with it the resonance of autumn, a hint of the seasonal shift to fully come. I thought about my summer and how in the entirety of my life I could not remember May, June and July passing so swiftly! We were blessed with many guests who came to stay, so weeks and months passed with lots of great new experiences, local explorations, and catching up with so many people we love.
I certainly learned a lot about myself this summer, especially in the area of balance. When visitors first arrived I immediately put exercise on hold, stopped paying attention to the food I ate, ignored working on important personal projects, and did not carve out quiet time for myself. This quickly turned unsustainable! By mid-summer I clearly understood that this was an opportunity to practice honest communication, better time management, and commitment to my values (my desire to regularly exercise and eat healthy).
As a “recovering people pleaser” this was not some easy task for me, but I cannot describe the feeling of empowerment and greater self-love I experienced. A deeper sense of trust emerged – that I was truly someone I could count on to watch out for myself. I also realized that the people in my life loved it when I spoke honestly. I learned that saying “I’m sorry, but I really can’t see the waterfalls again for the rest of my life” was not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. In fact, folks felt relieved that we were honestly making plans that would be authentically enjoyed by all.
But beyond even that wonderful lesson, certainly the greatest source of trust came from the complete absence of judgment for myself for originally ignoring my needs and goals (um, and getting really out of shape!). Instead, I genuinely found good information by my diversion which refueled my desire to stay on task with my inner commitments. Instead of saying, "I failed" or "I quit" I was able to say, "Let's get back on track!"
I have enjoyed the opportunity to look back on my summer and acknowledge growth in these areas. I also invite you to look back on your own experiences to celebrate your successes. There is nothing too small and you are not vain for doing so! Considering the inner critique that chatters our moments away, taking time to feel authentic appreciation for our positive steps in life is a source of nourishment, self-generated love, and joy. It also makes life much more fun!
This “oops, that doesn’t work” method of data collection happens all the time since we are not perfect and because, well, this is our first time around. We are bound to take steps in directions that may not serve us. As we seek to understand our unique truth in this world, losing judgment for our “mistakes” becomes a major breakthrough and makes the journey much more fun.
©laynewhitley, 2010. Article may be reprinted with permission.
Layne Whitley, Food & Weight Loss Coach, helps clients lose weight, eat healthier, and feel great… naturally! To get your FREE e-book on lasting weight loss and receive her weekly recipes & success mindset articles on reaching your wellness potential, visit www.laynewhitley.com or email her at coach@laynewhitley.com.